The feeling you get as you replay the bad experience over and over again, in your head. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) describes intense emotional pain triggered by real or perceived  rejection, criticism, or failure. While it’s not an official diagnosis in the DSM-5, it’s well recognized in ADHD communities because so many people with ADHD and neurodivergence experience it, often without having language for what’s happening. And that lack of language matters. Because when you don’t...

How RSD turns motivation into avoidance (and what actually helps) Perfectionism is often praised in our culture, or at the very least, looked at in a somewhat positive light. It gets labeled as “having high standards,” “being driven,” or “just wanting to do things well.” But in my work as an ADHD coach, I’ve learned something important: For many ADHDers, perfectionism has very little to do with excellence — and everything to do with emotional safety. More specifically, it’s often deeply...

If you’ve ever stared at a growing to-do list and thought, “Why can’t I just do the things I should  be doing?” You’re not alone.  For many people with ADHD, the issue isn’t knowing  what needs to happen. It’s that the moment something turns into a “should,”  your brain quietly (or loudly) hits the brakes. This is where ADHD and demand avoidance  overlap in very real, very relatable ways. The ADHD Brain vs. “Shoulds” Here’s the part most people don’t explain well enough: ADHD motivation is...