Why People with ADHD Minimize Themselves—Even When They’re Brilliant

The other day, my heart broke a little.

A client of mine, an architect who has poured years of her life into mastering her craft, told me she felt like a fraud. Why? Because she procrastinated during school. Because she still sometimes needs a looming deadline to finish work. Because her focus can wander.

In her mind, those struggles cancelled out the fact that she actually became an architect (which, hello, is a massive accomplishment!). Instead of letting herself celebrate, she minimized the success and told herself she didn’t really deserve it.

And she’s not alone.

If you have ADHD, or love someone who does, this probably sounds familiar.

So many of us grew up hearing things like:

• “You’re so smart, why don’t you apply yourself?”

• “You’re lazy.”

• “You always wait until the last minute.”

• “You’re too sensitive.”

When you grow up under that narrative, success feels tainted. It doesn’t feel earned.

It sounds like:

• “I only got that done because I crammed.”

• “If I were really smart, I wouldn’t have to struggle like this.”

• “Everyone else makes it look easy.”

Over time, those messages become an internal filter.

A win? “That doesn’t count.” A compliment? “They don’t know the real me.” An achievement? “I just got lucky.”

That’s how imposter syndrome takes root, especially in adults with ADHD who’ve learned to mask their struggles and just power through.

Here’s what I wish my architect client could see (and what I wish every ADHDer could believe):

• Procrastinating doesn’t cancel out your brilliance.

• Needing structure doesn’t make you less capable.

• Struggling doesn’t mean you’re faking it.

• Your pace doesn’t diminish your progress.

• Your creativity and resilience are strengths, not accidents.

ADHDers often succeed in non-linear, last-minute, high-energy bursts. That’s not a character flaw, it’s proof of resilience, resourcefulness, and grit.

So how do you start to undo a lifetime of minimizing yourself? Here are some tools I use with clients:

1. Name the shame filter. Notice when your brain tries to disqualify your success.

2. Track small wins. Even messy, last-minute accomplishments still totally count. Write them down. Read that list a few times a week.

3. Practice receiving. Pause when someone gives you praise. Breathe. Say “thank you.” Don’t deflect. Ponder how it could actually be true.

4. Reframe the story. Try mantras like:

   - “My way of doing things still gets results.”

   - “I’m not a fraud. I’m a fighter.”

   - “Messy progress is still progress.”

   
   

My Final Thoughts...

People with ADHD don’t downplay their wins because they’re ungrateful. They do it because for so long, they were never taught that they were enough.

If this is you, know this: your struggles don’t erase your successes. Your quirks don’t cancel out your brilliance. And your worth has never been tied to how “neatly” you got something done.

You are capable. You are creative. You are resilient.And you deserve the credit.

Ready to stop downplaying your wins and start owning your strengths? This is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients. Let’s connect—I’d love to help you see the capable, resilient person you already are. Book your free consultation HERE.